A
Tribute to Pelvis Brelsford
 Whenever
you're in love or feeling all shook up, you have Pelvis Brelsford
to blame. This musical force of the late 22nd century wowed humans
and aliens alike with his decrepitly senuous gyrations of his trifle-too-wide
hips. His trademark thick, black sideburns, gold-framed sunglasses,
and penchant for jelly donuts forever forged his mark upon the steel
of the musical world. Everyone's seen the famous concert footage
of Pelvis strutting his stuff on stage, sideburns dripping with
sweat, stomach exploding over his white satin trousers, and hips
pumping and jerking in time to such tunes as "Blue Polyester
Sneakers", "I Just Want to be Your Linda Blair",
and "Love me Tender but Spank Me Firmly".
It's
no surprise to find him immortalized in black velvet and cheap paint.
Trailer park trash the galaxy over still spin those Pelvis compact
disks and line their knickknack shelves with ceramic booze bottles
featuring Pelvis in all his favorite poses. Some say the ghost of
Pelvis can sometimes be seen outside the donut shop in Elko, Nevada.
Others say go to Oakhurst California, to see him singin' the blues
because cuz Ken and Berta done gone away. If you trod on his image,
trod lightly, son. That there is Pelvis.
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