"Welcome to sector 62. I'm Ueffo Bleeblenarf, the counter clerk
of Monolith Burger. This establishment is just one of the 6000 Monolith
Burgers. We are the galaxy's number one in fast food. Since its
beginning in the nineteenth century (known as MacDonalds at that
time), Monolith Burger is there for you. Hungry space travelers
and hard to handle aliens are our specialties. The best service
is guaranteed (the food is another story). Now, may I take your
Monolith Burger News
NEW ASTRO CHICKEN
ScumSoft has introduced a new video arcade game, Astro Chicken.
The CEO of ScumSoft, Mr Elmo Pug, has signed a contract with Monolith
Burger last week. Now, every Monolith Burger franchise will have
an Astro Chicken videogame. In a related story, Genetix Research
has proven that AstroChicken has very few harmful side-effects and
maximum relaxing capabilities. We regret to inform you, that the
beloved Astro Chicken Flight Hat won't come with the fun meal. For
more information about the Hats and other Astro Chicken merchandise,
please address one of our friendly counter clerks or contact Fester's
A lot of unrest lately around Monolith Burger's establishment in
sector 62. All kinds of bad rumours are spreading across the universe.
People are saying that Roger Wilco visited Monolith Burger. This
rumour is denied by the management. Velda Zeenbucket has sued Monolith
Burger. She says: "Monolith claims that its establishments
are safe. But why did they let a fool like Mr. Wilco enter? People
have been exposed to an unnecessary danger. Worst of all Monolith
Burger denies Mr. Wilco's visit. But how can they explain the photographs
taken by Janitorhunter Mr. Frans van Hofwegen?" According to
StarCon, Ms. Zeenbucket has a point but also states that this charge
won't make it the Official Galactic Corrupted Master Court.
As you can see from one of the pictures, Roger
Wilco is sitting in the cockpit of his Aluminum Mallard. In the
middle picture Roger has just swallowing his Filet-O-Orat. The right
shows Roger drinking his free drink.
meal you order is packed in the patented "Monolith Burger Keep
Warm" bags. The new bags are now 100% recyclable thanks to
the research of Genetix. It no longer contains plutonium 235 but
1.01% moshyoem, the fungi-like-plant we all know from Thrakus. The
future looks bright and clean with Monolith Burger!
BIG BELCHER COMBO
our Monolith Burger Menu, you can order the famous Big Belcher
Combo. A lot of aliens are claiming that they had gotten sick
after eating our most famous (and only) combo. Monolith Burger
has decided not to sell this type of meal anymore to beings under
75 pounds. We are now only selling a big belcher combo to beings
over 75 pounds, or, if he/she/it says that he/she/it is really
FRIENDLY WARNING TO ALL VISITORS
In more than one occasion, people forget which
airlock they have used to dock their ship. The result is that
people are entering the airlock of others. Problems like this
occur very often and sometimes result into a tragedy. Monolith
has now introduced airlocknumbers. Be sure to remember your number
OF THE MONTH
are rewarded with this price if he/she/it is doing more for the
company then necessary (we must say we don't really know when that's
the case). This month Ueffo Bleeblenarf won the price. He invented
the 'airlocknumbers'. Now each airlock has a number, which enables
even the most mentally-disabled visitor (like humans) to find their
way back to their own airlock.
This is our burger for little species. It is also highly recommended
if you just want a little snack. It contains ketchup, mustard, a
gherkin and a piece of meat. This meat contains no BSE (not guaranteed
The standard burger. This is the same as the mini monolith only
bigger. It has two pieces of meat (second piece half size) and some
lettuce. Pickle is also added.
You will love this one: It's also possible to add polycheeze on
your monolith. This cheese is made from the toes of a Pinkunz. And
tastes like zipysnosth.
The Orat can be found in the Keronian desert. It lives in caves
but at night they come out to hunt for Grell. Not so long ago it
was impossible to capture these stupid beasts. But now you can order
your very own piece of orat. First, the meat is grilled and then
put in a lovely blood sauce. Please do not mistake the filet-o-orat
with the orat-on-a-stick.
jumbo monolith with polycheese
The jumbo monolith with polycheese is the biggest burger in the
universe. It has a three double polycheese top stuffed with meat.
Also more lettuce is added than in the normal monolith. Pickle,
ketchup and mustard makes this burger a big hit. It is advised to
brush your teeth (if you have any) after you have eaten a jumbo
big belcher combo
Is your hunger bigger then the Galactic Space Trade Centre? Well,
you've come to the right place. Monolith Burger offers a menu which
includes: the original jumbo monolith with polycheese, space spuds
with extra grease and sloppy slurper. You can only order a big belcher
combo if you are heavier than 75 pounds.
monolith fun meal
For children or beings with an IQ lower than 50. It not only contains
a monolith and a small sized tang© but also a fun mail price.
What will it be this time? That stupid Macdonald clown or a neat
Only this drink has the original spuds. Drink this, and you will
be spaced out until Christmas Eve!
tang© A Lot of ice and tang©
is the perfect solution to drink away your problems. The ingredients
are secret but we can say that tang© is good for small and
large, young and old, smart and stupid! It comes in three sizes:
a small, b medium and c large. Please note, when drinking a large
tang© your stomach has to be bigger then 12 kilospaces.
Slurp your monolith away with this drink. Guaranteed satisfaction.
(submitted by Keith Richards) Enjoy, but do not drink more than
2 sloppy slurpers per day because it destroys brain cells (a lot