After arriving on Radon

Leaving the Mallard:
-Search the seat for the Mallard OS Back-Up 
-Take the duct tape (can do this later)
-Use the Ship Computer
-Open the case to get the OS CD.
-Insert the OS CD into the slot
-Interact with the CD case to use the manual (or use it on the computer)
-Use the Hatch to Leave

After a cut-scene, Beatrice will be kidnapped and you’ll have to find a way into the fortress.

Entering the Fortress 

Radon Surface and Caves

-Walk north from the Mallard; Take the Blanket
-Walk north and east to the skeleton; Pick up the Bone
-Go south to the snowman; Use the Bone to smash the Frozen Snowman
-Pick up the Snowman's Wallet
-Open the Wallet; Receive Health Inspector's ID and extra Buckazoids
-Go to the Resort; pay Al the buckazoids to go in
-Pick up the Bucket
-Go back to the skeleton; Climb into the Eyehole of the Dinosaur
-Go to the pool; Fill the Bucket with Water
-Climb back out the Cave Entrance
-Enter Al’s shop
-Talk to the Clerk; ask to take the Survey (receive Clipboard)
-Use Bucket of Water on Robot Al to disable him
-Take the Fake Moustache from the Pirate Bear (Al won't stop you now)
-Return to the Caves
-Walk to the center of the fourth cave area and get captured by Furkunz

The Furkunz Village

The Furkunz will wake you up and request your assistance in fighting off the oppressive Apemen 

-Talk to Finkle; learn about Lewdy sabotaging the Fortress (you will need to find the Fortress Plans hidden in the village and bring them to him.)
-Talk to Mayor/Bartender; learn about Merf, the Rogue Furkunz who may have stolen the plans
-Go to the Bar; order a Drink; take the Tiny Umbrella
-Go to Merf's Hut; Werg should be here, peering inside the window
-Keep asking Werg about the Thieves’ Guild, he'll tell you to steal something
-Go back to the Furkunz main hall
-Go into the door in the background by the priest; Roger will break something back-stage and cause the Priest to go backstage and clean up the mess
-Switch the Holy MC Cola Bottle with the Pie-ery Bottle
-Go to Werg and give him the Stolen MC Cola Bottle; receive Password
-Go to the Bar; say Password to Rulf; receive Lockpick
-Use Lockpick to enter Merf's Hut; you'll find the Safe here, but you can't open it without waking Merf
-Take the Flashlight
-Take the Anchovies
-Combine the Tape (from the Mallard) with the Flashlight
-Push the Vacuum Cleaner into the center of the room
-Tape the Flashlight onto the Vacuum Cleaner
-Cover the Vacuum Cleaner with the Blanket
-Take the Vacuum Remote
-Open the Safe; guess a password three times (any will do; you won’t get it right), click “Forgot your password?” when it appears, and reset the password with the favorite caveball player from the poster: FECKHAM, then you can use that password you just entered to open the safe.
-When Merf wakes up, hide in the top right corner
-When Merf arrives; use the Vacuum Remote to chase him away
-Open the Safe; Take the Fortress Plans
Leave the Furkunz Village, leave the Caves, and go East to the Apes' Boot Camp

The Boot Camp

-Wear the Fake Moustache  
-Go to the Guard Post; talk to the guard (you’ll need the clipboard and ID at this point)
-Do your darnedest not to drink the tea he offers!!!
-You can now enter the camp, but the guard will follow you everywhere
-Take the Cup of Tea
-Go east to the vending machines; use your last Buckazoid on the Vending Machine (receive Can of Smarm)
-Go to the camp center; give the Can of Smarm to the Ape-Kid (he'll spill it all over everyone) (receive Puddle of Smarm and empty can)
-Ask the kid for his now-sticky Puzzle; the kid will now be bored
-When the kid starts bugging his dad (the guard following you) - go press the alarm. The colonel will show up and order the guard to return to his post.
-Go to the north-west corner of the camp and attempt to open the sewers.
-Give the bone to Forksmith (he'll knock himself out with it)
-Search Forksmith; Take his Keys
-Go back to the vending machines; Talk to Rodney (learn that he needs a doctor's check-up, but not from the current doctor – offer to do it in exchange for being let into the sewers.)
-Enter the Doctor's Tent; talk to the Doctor (learn that he wants to leave, but needs a spaceship and a permit)
-Use the Cup of Acid Tea on the Closet Lock; experience the indefinable (you make a deal with Ned to keep it under wraps)
-Ask Ned for a Permit
-Use the Puddle of Smarm on the Permit
-Use the Sticky Permit on the Clipboard 
-Go to the Colonel's Tent; Give Permit to Colonel to sign; convince him it's a passed health report
-Go to the Doctor's Tent, Give keys & signed permit to Doctor (receive complimentary Hair Growth Serum.)
-Talk to Rodney; give him a Physical Check-Up (Rodney will now open the sewers for you)
-Take the Surgical Mask from the doctor's tent
-Take the Air Freshener from the area where the general's ship used to be (outside the camp's front gate to the east)
-Enter the Sewers

The Sewers

-Combine the Air Freshener with the Surgical Mask (creates Gas Mask)
-Wear the Gas Mask
-Walk East until you visit the Penguin's Lair; get slimed and return to the entrance
-Go to the Second Passage; move the Big Picture
-Wedge the Empty Can in the Gears
-Return to the Penguin's Lair; the sliming will now backfire on the Penguin
-Give the Penguin the Tiny Umbrella to protect him from the dripping; he'll now let you pass
-Give the Anchovies to the Little Penguin and take the Little Penguin
-Go East to Frozen Poop Waterfall
-Use Little Penguin to Snowboard onto the Ladder
-GRAB THE LADDER BEFORE FALLING IN!!!
-Roger returns to the surface automatically

Finally, Enter the Fortress.

Roger will get captured.  Choose someone to save, it doesn’t matter though.  Vohaul will inform his men on the moon that they have captured the Furkunz and will reveal his ultimate plan.

The Fortress

Roger wakes up, chained to a bed post in a cell.  The alarm goes off, announcing that someone has activated the Fortress' Self-Destruct Sequence.

Escape the Cell

-Grab the Saw next to you
-Use the Saw to cut through the bedpost (receive Manacles)
-Take the Spoon
-Take the Book
-Talk to the Prisoner in the other cell; insult him three times (just enough to make him make a crack in the wall)
-Use the Spoon on the Crack; create a hole
-Reach inside the Hole and disable the Force Field

Stop the Self-Destruct Sequence

-Go west; use the code from the book to visit the Library
-Return the book to the librarian to distract him then grab your stuff
-Grab the tram codes from the trash bin
-Return to the Jail
-Give Lewdy the Fortress Plans; player now takes control of Lewdy
-Lewdy will automatically return to the Control Room and enter the Fortress's Virtual Vista OS.
-Take the iDestroyEverything Program and throw it in the Wastebasket
-Exit Vista World by clicking on the Start button (return control to Roger)

Enter the Shuttlebay

-Go to the Store
-Duct Tape the Loose Wires under the Camera
-Take the Catnip; Shoplift It (Camera will take your Picture)
-Go back to Lewdy/Virtual Reality
-Open the Security Folder; Find Roger's Picture
-Put it in the Faceburn Program
-Return to Roger
-Go to the Shuttle Bay
-Stick your face in the reader; the door will now open

Go to the Moon!!!

-Walk up to the Large Cannon
-Take the Launch Codes
-Return to the Library; Photocopy the Launch Codes
-Return to the Cannon; Place the Launch Codes back in the Bin
-Go to the Command Room on the left side of the shuttle bay
-Take the walkie-talkies from the locker
-Use the Console; order an Emergency Fire Drill (the guards will leave)
-Place one of the Walkie-Talkies on the Console Button
-Go to the Cannon and enter the Capsule
-Use your Walkie-Talkie to order all hands to their stations
-Order the guards to load the cannon
-Order them to fire the cannon.
-Roger is now on the moon.

The Moon

Getting into the Base

-Travel east to discover the giant cat
-Visit Dweeble's Weapons Shop
-Convince him to help you get past the Giant Cat in front of the base; receive Sleep Charge and Stun Grenade
-Go to the Giant Cat
-Mix the Catnip with the Grenade to create a Catnip Bomb
-While Cat is distracted by Dweeble, throw the Catnip Bomb at it (knocks it out.)
-Enter the base area; walk forward to the entrance
-Knock on the door
-Take the little robot who answers
-Go around to the back and climb in through the side window into Never's office

Roger will intercept a message from Beatrice on his walkie-talkie. Bea will mention that the Furkunz are being forced to slave away in mines down here.

 First things first, however:

Get past Never's guards outside the office door

-Take the Cardboard Box
-Take the Inkwell
-Use the Ink on the Box
-Use the Hacksaw on the Box to cut off the edges
-Wear the Cleaning Droid costume (leaves the office)
-When asked to respond, use the door droid on the guards to get past them

Every time Roger returns to the office, he'll be wearing the cardboard droid costume

Destroy the Drill/Save the Furkunz!

-Visit the mining area; find your way into the drill to see the locked panel.

The Furkunz are all under mind control, and in order to stop the drill, you need the two keys that Forksmith and Never Kenezer carry.

So....

Forksmith's Key

Forksmith is presently watching TV in the kitchen

-Go to the Roof
-Hide the Walkie-Talkie behind the Antenna to ruin his reception
-Leave and come back; Forksmith is now trying to fix the reception
-Use the Manacle on Forksmith to chain him to the Antennae
-Ask him about his Key; he'll say he lost it down the sink and it's in the water system somewhere
-Go to the Mine; take the Drill Cable
-Mix the Drill Cable with the Bucket
-Go to Never's Lab
-Use the Fishing Bucket on the Key in the Aquarium

Never's Key

-Go to the Kitchen
-Take a Banana Peel
-Take a Banana Cream Pie (if Forksmith isn't trapped on the roof)
-Mix the Sleep Charge with the Banana Peel
-Go to the Warehouse
-Give the Sleeping Banana Bomb to the creature in the box
-When it falls asleep, take the Tiny Mallet on the floor
-Go to Never's Lab
-Talk to the Two-Headed Bird
-Use the Mallet to knock out the Smart Bird
-Interrogate the Dumb Bird on the whereabouts of Never's key
-Go back to Never's office
-Bribe the Guards with the Pie; Enter the Office
-Look behind the poster and take the key

-Take both keys and open the drill's control panel
-Take the Detonite Crystal

Roger will then be attacked by Never Kenezer

FIghting Never Kenezer

-Use the Detonite Crystal to protect against his electrical attacks

Roger will get kicked out of the drill.  Beatrice will appear and fight Never

-Grab the Fire Extinguisher
-Mix the Hair Serum with the Fire Extinguisher
-Use the Hair Spray on Never; he will now fall off the cliff

NOW Save the Furkunz

-Go to the closet in Never's Lab
-Take the Plunger
-Return to the Mines, go to the south-west corner of the working area to find Never
-Use the Plunger to retrieve the Universal Remote from Never's belt 
-Use the Remote on the Furkunz to free them from mind control

The Furkunz will revolt, destroy the drill and capture the ape-men.

Confront Vohaul

-Go to the BIG DOOR
-Use the Remote to open it
-Ride the Platform up to the Vohaul and talk to him
-When you have a chance, remove the Hamster from his Central Processor

After Vohaul shuts down, the Ape Scientist will arrive and suggest Roger enters his mind and tries to turn him... you know, not evil.

The player can opt not to and end the game right now.  Or....

VOHAUL'S MIND

After a successful Monkey Mind Meld, Roger finds himself at the crossroads of Vohaul's memories. Roger must fix every traumatizing memory Vohaul has.  There are three memories to fix:  Vohaul's Worst Birthday (Home,) Vohaul Gets Fired (Monolith Burger,) and Vohaul gets Dumped (Beach.)

Vohaul's Worst Birthday 

-Enter the First Door; meet Vohaul's family
-Go upstairs
-Talk to Vohaul; mention the keyword CHILDHOOD to trigger the event
-Vohaul will accidentally blow up the house with his Chemistry Set and Roger will eject back out on the Crossroads
-Go to the Beach memory
-Take Vohaul's Teddy Bear Mug
-Go back to his Childhood
-Fill the Teddy Bear Mug with Red and Blue chemicals from his Chemistry Set
-Switch your Chemical Mug with his Kool-Aid Mug, so he uses the right chemicals in his mixture
-Trigger the Memory again; Vohaul will learn a minor life lesson and this memory will be fixed

Vohaul Gets Fired

-Go to the Second Door; enter Monolith Burger
-Talk to Vohaul behind the Counter; mention the keyword WORK to trigger the event
-A regional manager will show up, get some bad service, and shut down the location; Roger will be ejected
-Return to the Memory
-Ask Vohaul about the Monoflairy machine
-Go behind the counter; Open the Monoflairy Panel
-Look at the Schematics; Roger will argue with the Narrator and write something profane down on the schematics
-Keep looking at the schematics and making the Narrator insult himself until he agrees to go back to the real world and get Beatrice to bring you the real schematics for the Machine.
-Fix the machine accordingly - 1 Problem Fixed
-Go into the Kitchen
-Take the Bleach and take the Mop
-Use the mallet on the CO2 canister to fix the Tango machine. – 2 Problems Fixed
-Go in the Store Room
-Use the Spoon on the Salt
-Go to the Counter
-Use the Salt on the Fries - 3 Problems Fixed
-Use the Mop on the Spill - 4 Problems Fixed
-Use the Bleach on the Burger; Vohaul will ask you to take it away
-Go to the Crew Room
-Give the Bleached Jumbo Burger to Charlie; he'll get sick and run out
-Take his Mini Burger
-Put the Mini-Burger on the racks behind Vohaul - 5 Problems Fixed!
-Talk to Vohaul and trigger the memory again; Vohaul keeps his job!  2 Memories down, one to go!

Vohaul Gets Dumped

-Go to the Third Door; arrive at the beach with Vohaul and his girlfriend
-Talk to Vohaul, trigger the event with keyword GIRLFRIEND.  A bully will show up and kick sand in his face.  Vohaul gets dumped, Roger gets ejected.
-Go to the Childhood
-Give the Hamster to Vohaul's Brother; receive Red Wagon
-Go to Monolith Burger Crew Room; take the Power Bar
-Go to the Beach
-Give the Power Bar to the Bully; he drops his weight
-Use the Wagon on the Weight; Roger hauls it across the beach to Vohaul
-Use the Bucket on the Weight; Roger covers it with sand
-Trigger the Memory again; the Bully hurts his toe on the weight. Vohaul gets the girl; memory is fixed.

With all three memories fixed, Roger can now enter the Subconsciousness.

Fixing the Subconsciousness

Inside is a large stone head of Vohaul with the crystal squeegee sticking out of it.  Clearly he has janitors on the mind.

-Climb the Head
-Remove the Squeegee

Vohaul gets pissed. And really big.

DEFEATING MEGA-VOHAUL

-Run to the right, staying ahead of Vohaul's attacks; Hide under the outcroppings
-Temporarily move in front of the crevice, and move out of the way to the right before Vohaul strikes again; his weapon will get stuck
-Run up on top of the plateau and hop on his weapon; Roger will run up the arm onto Vohaul's shoulder
-Use the mop on the ear
-Enter the ear; Roger will fall inside the brain and drop the squeegee down the nasal cavity
-Jump down the Nasal Cavity
-Grab the Squeegee wedged in Vohaul's teeth before you fall out the nose
-Use the Plunger on Vohaul's face to swing to safety
-Enter the Ear again
-Use the Bleach on the Cobwebs to scare away the spiders
-Use the Squeegee on the Stain in the back of Vohaul's Mind

And you win!

The rest is outro from there.